March 25

Would you look at that? Would you look at that! The date, the date! March 25 - exactly one month to go until April 25! I've never felt so good! Today's date is a beautiful thing!

{Little fan}

Kayla decided to be my model for Khloe's new outfit, not by standing and holding it up to her like I wanted, but by lying down on the ground like a baby. Thank you, Ms. Keri, for the cutest little Red Wings outfit ever! Daddy will love holding his little Red Wings fan for playoffs this spring!

March 7

Scene: I just finished a water quality presentation for a 7th grade science class at Holland Woods Middle School. I'm standing around after class and a group of boys has gathered nearby.

Boy #1 (to me): Are you pregnant?
Boy #2: Dude! I can't believe you just asked her that!
Boy #3: Dude! That is such a bold question!
Boy #4: Dude! What if she's not?
Me (to Boy #1, who is red and bashful at this point): It's okay. Clearly I am very pregnant.
Boy #1: Okay.
Boy #2: Still, I can't believe you asked her that.
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Anonymous: I left my "basketball" at your house.
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Scene: I just got out of the shower and I'm in my bathroom getting ready for the morning.

Kayla: If Khloe keeps growing and growing your towel isn't going to fit around you anymore!
Me: (speechless)
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Scene: Saturday, just the three of us getting ready to go out and do some shopping for the afternoon.

Me (to Kayla): You, Daddy and I are all going to go shopping together today!
Kayla: And Khloe too!
Me: Yes, and Khloe too.
Kayla: Well, I guess she has to be born first.
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I'm so happy when I wake up in the morning and can report to Aaron that "last night I slept like I wasn't pregnant!", which is what happened last night! That means that I slept straight through the night without waking up to turn or that I wasn't uncomfortable - that I actually got a good night of solid, deep sleep. There's not too many of those, but looking forward to more of those nights soon when I can actually sleep on my stomach or my back if I want to and do so effortlessly!

According to my "new adjusted" due date, 39 more days!

March 2

A hazard of pregnancy I will soon not miss... having something on your shirt that you can't see. Thanks to Kristi for pointing out that there was flour all over my shirt - if she hadn't told me I would've had no idea it was even there!

March 1

I gave blood four times today. All in the name of a healthy pregnancy and a healthy Khloe Jean. It's a good thing I like the nurse that draws blood at my doctor's office. And its a good thing that she's good at what she does. Quick and painless. Her and I get along really well. We've bonded. We've shared all sorts of stories of our lives with each other. She gives me special treatment. She said "I like our conversations we have together".

The answer I most often give, when people ask "how are you feeling?" is "tired". And its true. It's hard not to feel guilty about my lack of energy or to try not to feel lazy, but I keep reminding myself (and Aaron) "I'm down to the last weeks, these are the hardest!" Which then justifies me plopping down on a chair, or the couch or turning into bed early. These are simple things I can do to protect and restore my energy, but hard for a mom to remember to do!

Khloe, you consume all my energy! You are taking every mineral, vitamin and nutrient right out of my body. And rightfully so, you need it to grow, but it doesn't leave me with much. Exhaustion is my biggest complaint. And then, at my 32-week doctor appointment, I learned that I was extremely anemic. This causes exhaustion. "Are you tired a lot?" my doctor asked. Why yes, but isn't' that just because I'm almost to my last month? Oh, well, there's that, plus your anemia, plus the fact that your diabetic. Plus the fact that you don't sleep well at night anymore. Great. Exhaustion compounded to the third degree. The thought of getting through these last few weeks just completely overwhelmed me. I'm almost done, right?

Still, you'll never hear me say that I don't enjoy being pregnant. I hear a lot of women say "Pregnancy and I are NOT friends" or "I do not enjoy being pregnant", but I've never said - and will never say - those words. I wouldn't say pregnancy is one big continuous ball of fun, but it is something I cherish and respect, am in awe about and feel blessed to experience. All those positives trump the negatives. Even when I'm tired. Even through my iron supplement specific diet. Even through my carbohydrate specific diet. Even through all the blood donations. Even through all the constant public comments about my body shape/size. Even through my restless sleeps. Even when Kayla tells me that soon my bath towel won't fit around me anymore. (Oh, my ever observant daughter).

There's a lot to worry about during the 40 long weeks of pregnancy, but you have to learn to put it behind you. There is much you can control about having a healthy pregnancy and baby, but there is also much that you can't control. Worrying doesn't do the baby or yourself any good. I have been pretty good about putting unnecessary worry behind me, but just in the last few days it reared its ugly head. I learned that I have something only 4% of all pregnant women will experience - and no, it's not a sudden and joyous decrease in my belly size - its gestational diabetes. And not just a mild form, a form that almost sent me straight to the hospital.

Well, I sure did enjoy those two chocolate donuts I had at a meeting last week. And all the chocolate valentine's hearts. And the bag of peanut m&m's.

So, iron diets and supplements, carbohydrates diets, pre-natal vitamins, weekly doctor's appointments, non-stress tests, expanding waistlines, and charting kicks on 2-hour intervals will mark the final stage of my pregnancy. Not what I had in mind, but I'll take the good with the bad, because the good is YOU at the end!

{Helper}

Helping paint little sister's room... more photos of the finished results coming soon!

February 7

Boyne Mountain Family Vacation Our last vacation together officially as a family of three.
It was a special, memorable time together!30 weeks, and in a bathing suit? And going down every water slide, floating in innertubes in the lazy river and swimming in the outdoor heated pool. Not only was I in a bathing suit one day this weekend, but apparently I had so much fun and confidence on Day One that I did it for a second day in a row. I started off the weekend thinking "there's no way"... glad I had an open mind. Never say never. Or else you never what you could be missing out on! It was a fun, relaxing weekend full of new memories and just what we needed!
Two 30-week pregnant chics - Jen and I

February 4

I am in love with being pregnant I am ready to be done I can't wait for a drink I will miss being pregnant I would like to not get bigger I am tired of my maternity clothes I can't wait to have all my energy back I am looking forward to getting in and out of bed like a normal person I wonder if I will ever wear my normal size clothes again I would love a drink I love carrying you around with me I love feeling you move and kick I am so excited to be a mom again and to be your mom I'm over the food crumbs acting like a magnet to my belly I will not be sad when going up the stairs is hard work I can't wait for you to steal your Daddy's heart I am ready for a drink Seventy days is not that long to go Seventy days is still a long ways away I don't mind being pregnant I am ready to be a family of four I cannot wait to hold you and smell you and touch you.

And that's just how I feel this second of this hour of this day of this month.

Ahh, the pregnancy journey joys.

January 26

I have finally found sleep again. After the last two to three months of having little or horrible or restless or no sleep, I am back to sleeping soundly and deeply and it feels good. I wake up refreshed and happily announce "I actually slept last night!" I attribute gaining back my sleep to the fact that my back is finally doing better. I can get in and out of bed and roll over and move my legs without being in intense pain - basically sleep like a normal person instead of a cripple. It feels good to be normal. A simple thing like finding sleep is so exciting when its been lost for so long.

But, with my new-found deep sleep has come the onslaught of intense dreams. I'm glad the dreams are there though, it means I've actually slept. These dreams are real and vivid, as was last night's dream. It was about you so I thought I would share it with you.

I dreamt that you were born! That I got to hold you and look at you. It was so exciting and I was so happy to have you in my arms. My dream started by Daddy and I going to the hospital for you to be born, but they put me under before you were born so I don't remember actually delivering you. They took you away before I awoke so I never even got to see you or hold you. In fact, the hospital staff were so busy with other things that I didn't even get to see you until the next day! I was screaming and upset and demanding to see you but no one could help me. I was worried, were you okay? Were you healthy? How were you getting enough to eat? What was wrong that I couldn't see you yet? Daddy wanted to post your birth information on Facebook and text all our friends and family that you were born but I wouldn't let him until I confirmed that you were alive and healthy by holding you in my arms. Finally my doctor came in the next day to check on me, a doctor I had never seen before, an older gentleman and used a cane to walk. I asked if he delivered you and he said yes. I asked if it was a c-section and he said yes, because your baby was so big. I told him I didn't think it was fair that they put me under for the whole thing because I don't remember you being born and I didn't even get a chance to see you. So he had his staff go to the nursery and bring you to me. You were plump and warm and soft, all 9lbs of you. You had crystal, bright blue eyes and a head of dark hair. I was so happy to see you that I never wanted to put you down and wouldn't let anyone else hold you. Finally, I told Aaron that he could alert our family that you were here with us. Then, with my life complete and happy once again, I jolted awake in the middle of the night.

Pregnancy dreams are an intense mixture of emotions, like mine last night, from happy and relieved to angry and distressed. But, it ended well. I think the dream was my heart saying "I'm ready! We're ready for you! Please come!" but my mind saying "Whoa, wait. There's still time. Don't rush things yet".

Hmmmmm, I wonder if I dreamt this because yesterday, at my 28-week appointment, my doctor and I talked about labor and delivery. Although I love going to each and every check-up appointment, I am not looking forward to my appointment next week when I have to get poked twice - once for the gluclose screening test. That's a test where I have to drink a glass of sugary liquid in 60 minutes and then have my blood drawn. Failing the test, like I did with Kayla, means I have to go back and drink the liquid again but have my blood drawn 4 times in 3 hours. Yuck, yuck and yuck. The second poke is my RhoGAM shot - an important protection to protect our red blood cells from each other. I have an Rh- blood type and because your Daddy has an Rh+ blood type, they assume you inhereit the Rh+ stronger gene. If our blood streams were to become exposed to one another than my body would start producing antibodies to attack your invading red blood cells - a horrible, horrible thought - which is why I gladly accept the second (an extremely large, painful and potent) poke. And again I'll get the RhoGAM shot within 72 hours of your birth.

I did get to hear your heartbeat again, a healhty 155 beats/minute! I know you're healthy because you sure do like to do flips! Daddy can feel you all the time now, and although Kayla says she can feel you moving, she doesn't leave her hand on my tummy for more than 4 seconds so I know she truly hasn't felt you move yet. Soon though!