I have finally found sleep again. After the last two to three months of having little or horrible or restless or no sleep, I am back to sleeping soundly and deeply and it feels good. I wake up refreshed and happily announce "I actually slept last night!" I attribute gaining back my sleep to the fact that my back is finally doing better. I can get in and out of bed and roll over and move my legs without being in intense pain - basically sleep like a normal person instead of a cripple. It feels good to be normal. A simple thing like finding sleep is so exciting when its been lost for so long.
But, with my new-found deep sleep has come the onslaught of intense dreams. I'm glad the dreams are there though, it means I've actually slept. These dreams are real and vivid, as was last night's dream. It was about you so I thought I would share it with you.
I dreamt that you were born! That I got to hold you and look at you. It was so exciting and I was so happy to have you in my arms. My dream started by Daddy and I going to the hospital for you to be born, but they put me under before you were born so I don't remember actually delivering you. They took you away before I awoke so I never even got to see you or hold you. In fact, the hospital staff were so busy with other things that I didn't even get to see you until the next day! I was screaming and upset and demanding to see you but no one could help me. I was worried, were you okay? Were you healthy? How were you getting enough to eat? What was wrong that I couldn't see you yet? Daddy wanted to post your birth information on Facebook and text all our friends and family that you were born but I wouldn't let him until I confirmed that you were alive and healthy by holding you in my arms. Finally my doctor came in the next day to check on me, a doctor I had never seen before, an older gentleman and used a cane to walk. I asked if he delivered you and he said yes. I asked if it was a c-section and he said yes, because your baby was so big. I told him I didn't think it was fair that they put me under for the whole thing because I don't remember you being born and I didn't even get a chance to see you. So he had his staff go to the nursery and bring you to me. You were plump and warm and soft, all 9lbs of you. You had crystal, bright blue eyes and a head of dark hair. I was so happy to see you that I never wanted to put you down and wouldn't let anyone else hold you. Finally, I told Aaron that he could alert our family that you were here with us. Then, with my life complete and happy once again, I jolted awake in the middle of the night.
Pregnancy dreams are an intense mixture of emotions, like mine last night, from happy and relieved to angry and distressed. But, it ended well. I think the dream was my heart saying "I'm ready! We're ready for you! Please come!" but my mind saying "Whoa, wait. There's still time. Don't rush things yet".
Hmmmmm, I wonder if I dreamt this because yesterday, at my 28-week appointment, my doctor and I talked about labor and delivery. Although I love going to each and every check-up appointment, I am not looking forward to my appointment next week when I have to get poked twice - once for the gluclose screening test. That's a test where I have to drink a glass of sugary liquid in 60 minutes and then have my blood drawn. Failing the test, like I did with Kayla, means I have to go back and drink the liquid again but have my blood drawn 4 times in 3 hours. Yuck, yuck and yuck. The second poke is my RhoGAM shot - an important protection to protect our red blood cells from each other. I have an Rh- blood type and because your Daddy has an Rh+ blood type, they assume you inhereit the Rh+ stronger gene. If our blood streams were to become exposed to one another than my body would start producing antibodies to attack your invading red blood cells - a horrible, horrible thought - which is why I gladly accept the second (an extremely large, painful and potent) poke. And again I'll get the RhoGAM shot within 72 hours of your birth.
I did get to hear your heartbeat again, a healhty 155 beats/minute! I know you're healthy because you sure do like to do flips! Daddy can feel you all the time now, and although Kayla says she can feel you moving, she doesn't leave her hand on my tummy for more than 4 seconds so I know she truly hasn't felt you move yet. Soon though!
:) !!!!!!!!!!!!
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