March 1

I gave blood four times today. All in the name of a healthy pregnancy and a healthy Khloe Jean. It's a good thing I like the nurse that draws blood at my doctor's office. And its a good thing that she's good at what she does. Quick and painless. Her and I get along really well. We've bonded. We've shared all sorts of stories of our lives with each other. She gives me special treatment. She said "I like our conversations we have together".

The answer I most often give, when people ask "how are you feeling?" is "tired". And its true. It's hard not to feel guilty about my lack of energy or to try not to feel lazy, but I keep reminding myself (and Aaron) "I'm down to the last weeks, these are the hardest!" Which then justifies me plopping down on a chair, or the couch or turning into bed early. These are simple things I can do to protect and restore my energy, but hard for a mom to remember to do!

Khloe, you consume all my energy! You are taking every mineral, vitamin and nutrient right out of my body. And rightfully so, you need it to grow, but it doesn't leave me with much. Exhaustion is my biggest complaint. And then, at my 32-week doctor appointment, I learned that I was extremely anemic. This causes exhaustion. "Are you tired a lot?" my doctor asked. Why yes, but isn't' that just because I'm almost to my last month? Oh, well, there's that, plus your anemia, plus the fact that your diabetic. Plus the fact that you don't sleep well at night anymore. Great. Exhaustion compounded to the third degree. The thought of getting through these last few weeks just completely overwhelmed me. I'm almost done, right?

Still, you'll never hear me say that I don't enjoy being pregnant. I hear a lot of women say "Pregnancy and I are NOT friends" or "I do not enjoy being pregnant", but I've never said - and will never say - those words. I wouldn't say pregnancy is one big continuous ball of fun, but it is something I cherish and respect, am in awe about and feel blessed to experience. All those positives trump the negatives. Even when I'm tired. Even through my iron supplement specific diet. Even through my carbohydrate specific diet. Even through all the blood donations. Even through all the constant public comments about my body shape/size. Even through my restless sleeps. Even when Kayla tells me that soon my bath towel won't fit around me anymore. (Oh, my ever observant daughter).

There's a lot to worry about during the 40 long weeks of pregnancy, but you have to learn to put it behind you. There is much you can control about having a healthy pregnancy and baby, but there is also much that you can't control. Worrying doesn't do the baby or yourself any good. I have been pretty good about putting unnecessary worry behind me, but just in the last few days it reared its ugly head. I learned that I have something only 4% of all pregnant women will experience - and no, it's not a sudden and joyous decrease in my belly size - its gestational diabetes. And not just a mild form, a form that almost sent me straight to the hospital.

Well, I sure did enjoy those two chocolate donuts I had at a meeting last week. And all the chocolate valentine's hearts. And the bag of peanut m&m's.

So, iron diets and supplements, carbohydrates diets, pre-natal vitamins, weekly doctor's appointments, non-stress tests, expanding waistlines, and charting kicks on 2-hour intervals will mark the final stage of my pregnancy. Not what I had in mind, but I'll take the good with the bad, because the good is YOU at the end!